i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
