Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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