Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

dude, osama threatened the US again

(1-847): View more from Illinois

dude. i slept with your sister last night

(847): View more from Illinois

what?

(1-847): View more from Illinois

I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news

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(847): dude, osama threatened the US again (1-847): dude. i slept with your sister last night (847): what? (1-847) I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news http://tfl.nu/r4dc

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(954): View more from Florida

Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.

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(954): Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay. http://tfl.nu/sog2

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(630): View more from Illinois

just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.

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(630): just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description. http://tfl.nu/30ew

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(216): View more from Ohio

ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.

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(216): ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1. http://tfl.nu/a49b

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????

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(603): you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt???? http://tfl.nu/wi9x

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(817): View more from Texas

So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...

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(817): So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain... http://tfl.nu/gzma

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(513): View more from Ohio

Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home

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(513): Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home http://tfl.nu/jyep

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.

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(304): I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language. http://tfl.nu/immq

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(607): View more from New York

My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.

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(607): My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons. http://tfl.nu/oech

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(318): View more from Louisiana

You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys

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(318): You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys http://tfl.nu/kc5i

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.

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(973): Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality. http://tfl.nu/dmqi

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".

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(973): Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise". http://tfl.nu/r9vi

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.

(1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

Totally acceptable.

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(832): I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro. (1-832): Totally acceptable. http://tfl.nu/y2av

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(925): View more from California

She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set

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(925): She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set http://tfl.nu/ske1

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(317): View more from Indiana

Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke

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(317): Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke http://tfl.nu/8yqx

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