Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.