Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE