if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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