Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.

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(954): View more from Florida

Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship

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(650): View more from California

I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+61): View more from Australia

Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!

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(616): View more from Michigan

i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!

(1-616): View more from Michigan

BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up

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(239): View more from Florida

I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.

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