I'm jealous of your bromance
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
