We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
