i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
