I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
