I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I currently don't understand fingers.
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