I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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