You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
