By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
