i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
