if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
