Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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