**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She's the barista slut.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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