he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
