Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i think my cat just said my name.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
