Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
