y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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