Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
