How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
