I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
