I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
