You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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