Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
