I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
