Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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