Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
