I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
