My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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