I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
