it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
