mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
