Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
