Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
