Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
