Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
