Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
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True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
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Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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