Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
