i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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