Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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