The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
