Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
