I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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