even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize