I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
