She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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