Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
