Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
