hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I did not marry a roomba.
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