Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
