if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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