The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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