Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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