do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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