I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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