I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
