Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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