If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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