Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She's the barista slut.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
