I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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